deer bowsah bwog,
hewwo bwog! been a while, cuz mama been wurkin too much an coudent hewp me update. not much been goin on, neways. i's gots a new toy dah oddah day...it's a skimp! so, it's basicallly a feesh. i see skimps bein in da wata in da feesh tank.
but dis one i can bite! so i do wut must be done! i bites it good.
da odda day we, mama, dada, daisy an i wuz walkin, an at furst i was scared, but den it was ok...see some pershun drove up in da monster car ting, an yelled out da windo "dat's a beeutiful basset hund! you guys weely take care of him!" an i was like, DUH lady! furstly, mama sez i iz a pritty boy all da tyme. second....it's not eazy to keep dis fit!
see, my regimine is long. Furst, i get up in da morning. It's veery difficult..but i's finally do itz...den i go downstairs (ugh, vewy hawd wurk in da morning!)
den dada lets dayze an i go out, i do my pee (dis is ownly allowed in da fwont yard, btw) den he gives us brekky.
now, i used to wike dis brekky okay, but i hab pwetty high standards since i wike to keep healfy. lately i been twimming back an not eating brekky becuz i know i need someting better to maintain my bassetness.
so, den i haff to go to wurk...downstairs bed i hab to make it by pulling it wiff my mouf, an diggin. it's a LOT of wurk.
I put in my 4 hours or so, before i takes a break an den i go outside for da next pawt of my regimen. i gots to toast! i make my way out da doggy door, after holding it open foh a bit to let the flies come in so dey can do der daily jobs (i is polite like dat) an den i go out an i hab to lie in da sun. that's what gibes me my basset glow. Also it toasts up my dog bacteria so i smell REEL gud when i come back in da house. furst i toast one side, den i hab to roll ovah an toast da odda side!
sumtimes i get a little ober toasted, so i's come back in da house. i drink watah (which is not as good as upstairs watah) den i hab to make da bed again, and go back to seep.
about 4pm i arise fwom seep/wurk, an start keepin an eye out for dada to get home. I hab to be ready to gweet him properlee, as a bassy should!
I hold open da doggy door an let the flies change shifts, an i keep an eye out for dada.
i make suh dat wen dada an mama come home, dey know i lub dem, so i scream an scream to reassure dem.
aftuh dat, i get dinnah (again sumtimes i dun eat cuz i gotta stay twim) but den we gets walkies!
i make suh dada doesn't forget, so i sits undah da leash spot an i make gentle but loud cries of reminding foh him.
I tink walkies is da best pawt of mah jobs.
Well...aftah da walkies, i comes home, an den i is finalee allowed to be retired.
mama an dada say dey can't wait to be retired, but i'm like, guyz, i do that ebery night! i wakes up, but den i get retired again!
anyways, den i gets to take a well needed naps.
sumetimes i hab to cuddle mama, an sumetimes i need to be in da kitchen wiff dada to catch any veggies he may drop on da floow.
i make suh at about 9-9:30 i wemind mama an dada dat it's dinnah tyme.
Awso, outdoor time (onlee pee in dah fwont, poo in da back yard! der are rools to follow, after all)
befoh bed i sometimes do a little extra wurk (i hab a high standard foh wesponsability) an i make sure all da upstairs toys hab been bitten, an i make suh da beds ar all made (by running an jumping on dah bed an spinning) an den finnawwy i get some fud on a stick (dada cawls it foofpaste or sumting) an DEN i get retired, an hab to go to bed.
So, wen dat lady sez i is a purty basset, i'm like lady, it ain't easy bein dis beeutiful!